virtuosic_flair: (Default)
My little girl is three years old.

She told me today that I was a sillyhead. From the mouths of babes!
virtuosic_flair: (Default)
I'm 20!!!!

I feel so wise all of a sudden HAHAHHAA no, I really don't.

For my birthday, my daughter drew me four pictures of me on a pony. I think she's hinting! In one I had neon-green hair. It was fabulous!

And then when Aislinn was asleep, my Damon gave me presents too. But I'm not telling :D
virtuosic_flair: (Default)
I've been doing so much better lately (with the exception of missing Flynn). My dad is amazing and my little Aislinn makes me happy and Milla helps more than she will probably ever know.

I think I want to expand my social net. Not because I am feeling like I don't have enough people in my life. I just want to get out there a little more. I can't always annoy Milla and my dad to entertain me!
virtuosic_flair: (Hi there)
First day away with the boyfriend! We're in Wales and Aislinn is now in Damon's lap, babbling about the ocean. We have the entire hotel for ourselves. Yes, grandpa and grandma DID shut down the hotel for a week in the middle of summer. Since mum died, they seem to have less interest in it. But it's nice to be here alone. I'm loving it and we're having a blast so far!
virtuosic_flair: (Just being)
I'll be okay.
virtuosic_flair: (Oh for fuck's sake)
Milla...I am so sorry...
virtuosic_flair: (Books)
I just spent three hours playing hide and seek and peekaboo with my daughter before she would take a nap and I'm fucking knackered. Someone come read my textbooks to me. This is a completely normal to demand, correct? I'll feed you what was supposed to be my dinner. I'm so very serious.

You know what though? Best three hours I've had in a week. :D

virtuosic_flair: (Flame)
Been a bad day so I was writing...

The payback is here
Take a look, it's all around you
You thought you'd never shed a tear
So this must astound, must confound you

Buy a ticket for the train
Hide in a suitcase if you have to
This ain't no singing in the rain
This is a twister that will destroy you

You can run but you can't hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend in whom you can confide
Julian, you're a slow motion suicide

Fallen angels in the night
And everyone is barred from heaven
Just one more hit to make it right
But every one turns into seven

Now that it's snowing in your brain
Even ten will not placate you
This ain't no killing for the pain
This avalanche will suffocate you

You can run but you can't hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend on whom you can rely
Julian, you're being taken for a ride

You can run but you can't hide
Because no one here gets out alive
Find a friend in whom you can confide
Julian, you're a slow motion suicide
virtuosic_flair: (Helloooo)
For V Day I had a date with my Dad! In...a way that isn't creepy and wrong. We're both single so we rented movies (one with Jude Law for me and one with stupid action and explosions for him) and we ate fattening food and reveled in being single and so happening that we spent V Day on the sofa.

We're hip.

By the way? My dad is ten shades of pure awesome. Just in case I didn't say it twelve times today. I have to reach my quota, you see.
virtuosic_flair: (Hi there)
I'm Milla's Geckodaddy! We went out shopping yesterday for geckos, as you do. It's a valid study-avoiding alternative, okay! And we got new friends!

Hi, Baby! )

Aislinn loves the geckos! We already learned 'look don't touch' and she calls Smeagol "Meemee" and Gollum sounds like a strangely excitable grunt. That's my girl!
virtuosic_flair: (Tongue)
I am in such a good mood today!
virtuosic_flair: (Okay mostly)
Hey, Godric. Feel like coming over?
virtuosic_flair: (Oh for fuck's sake)
You know what? I'm angry at you. You up and left and that's shitty. I'm not going to go all 'wah wah my mum and sister died so how could you?' because no one should have to stay if they don't want to despite the circumstances, but the way you did it... Just dropping it on me and running. That was so unbelievably...argh. I have a daughter who adored you and I adored you and my family did too and you were part of it and then you were just gone and that fucking sucks.

You have no idea how hard you made things. I'm still struggling with them. I have exams and Aislinn and now all I want to do is shoot up to ignore the goddamn pain of losing the boy I loved. My dead mother had to be brought back to take care of me and that is fucked up.

So fuck you. If that's all I meant to you, fuck you so much.
virtuosic_flair: (Just being)
Okay, did EVERYONE see my dad kiss that total whore tonight at Grandma's party!?

Jesus Christ. Way to get drunk and stupid, Dad.
virtuosic_flair: (Bus sad)
Damon left me. I don't even know why. He just did.
virtuosic_flair: (Books)
My birthday is on the 19th. Which feels weird. Like...I have to grow up. Which...NEVER!

virtuosic_flair: (Okay mostly)
Two years. Wow.

Today, to prove I could, I went out and walked for hours. Aislinn eventually got bored and we came back home and now she's taking a marathon nap. My little girl. If the fire hadn't happened I wouldn't have her. Despite everything else, I wouldn't have her. And I love her.

So here's to the future. And to Dave, who is moving to London just to be my NA sponsor. Though I do suspect there's more to it than that. Dave and Elsie lost a son and I think the move is about moving on. They bought a pub here called the Smuggler's Arms? Anyway...he won't let me get away with anything.

We can all move on together.
virtuosic_flair: (In the dark dreaming)
My boyfriend just got blown up.

It never.fucking.stops.


He's okay, but his wings are all burned and he's in so much pain and fuck.
virtuosic_flair: (Oh god tired)
My Dad's in hospital with the crazies and I'm officially going to NA meetings so I don't shoot up in alleyways.

How the fuck did this happen? Fuck you so hard, Lucard Noir.

I'm going to Bristol, and Aislinn is coming with me. Just so you all don't flip the fuck out on me. Though...thanks for doing that. Keeps me on the sober, straight and narrow. I just want to visit Dave for a few days is all.
Page generated Oct. 23rd, 2017 08:10 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios